anxiety, love, relationships

Someone is Coming…Expectations

I like surprises. Just stop by. My heart is always expecting you!

Don’t tell me you might be here soon…someday you will come.
Someday we will take that walk we promised or share a meal.

Please don’t put a date out …to tell me when you will be in town.
Should I mark my calendar in pencil or pen?
In case…..and maybe….if it all works out.

I have an appointment coming today…it is no big deal.
My dishwasher is on the brink and we have only had it 5 years.
A new computer will be installed to fix the situation….alright.

But here I sit…waiting. I don’t dare go to my backyard gardens
to do any weeding or preparing my bed for winter.
I would rather be somewhere else then sitting and waiting.

I can sit at my computer, well enough, or read a book in a chair.
But wait I must, and I must wait …. as there is no telling when they
will arrive.

It used to be, people came when they were scheduled…. but now,
they leave us a window. A window of time….. cut out of my time.
What price will they offer for any portion of my window?

My window is not that great….so what do I have to complain about?
I am spoiled…it’s just three hours of uncertainty in my lifetime.
Three hours I have to fine tune my senses.

Dare I turn the radio on. Why am I being so dramatic?

I could work in my front yard garden.
I could pick weeds along the driveway….no….we are good there.
Our place is pretty tidy. No watering needed either.

Just the waiting seems to gnaw at me.
I like it when people just show up, unannounced, and I can be happy
and surprised by them. I will offer them some tea or coffee. YIKES….no treats
to be found but nuts…nothing sweet.

I rarely invite a guest.
I fear they’d turn me down…..too busy….got to work….tight schedule…deadline.
Yet, I come to a halt when people just show up. I am hospitable…that’s not it!

But, this appointment today is sure.
Just my three hour window unclear how it will unfold.
Waiting is noise in my head….I need distractions to keep hands busy.

My ears strain so not to miss anything.
Soon the day will be mine again, yet I should not complain.
I am blessed to have this life I live. Some never find rest…..for anything.

For me it is just to wait……but finally…….I thought I heard a car door! Good bye!

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (Philippians 4:12)

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