clothing anxiety, frugal living, simple life

Dressing “UP”….YUCK! Do I HAVE TO?

I never liked to shop. I don’t have the confidence or talent or creative mind it takes to put an outfit together. My daughter used to tell me I dressed too much like a grandma. I’ve been told I dress too baggy for the nice shape I have. I am a modest dresser, I admit.

I wonder if how we dress does have more to do with our confidence. I think in my case it does. If someone else picks out the outfit for me and I actually wear it, I sometimes do feel more confident. But, that isn’t always the case so we can throw that argument out the window.

Sometimes we need a little help.

I love the company that started Stitch Fix! When I heard about this company, that chooses the clothes for you, after you set up a profile, and sends them to you as little or often as you want. I hate to shop so that sounded perfect for me. My issue too though is that I am frugal and hiring a company to do all this for me sounded like it would be more than I wanted to spend.

Well, all worked out for me and Stitch Fix and all the items in my box arrived and I loved every piece. My stylist did a fantastic job. The very long questionnaire you have to fill out does help the stylist. The more you can tell them about yourself, the better.

I got to wear one of the tops that was sent to me just this weekend. I thought for sure someone at the family gathering would take notice. I thought it was flattering to my figure and loved the floral print. The colors complemented my skin tone and everything.

I still was a bit apprehensive getting ready as I had to choose my shorts, or should I wear capris because I don’t have a nice tan. Also, being in my 60’s now, you see more imperfections on your legs. I wish I would have bought some tanning cream. (YIKES!)

I had a nice pair of sandals I found that fit me at a yard sale. (Again, my frugal life is showing.) I powdered my insoles so my footpads didn’t stick. Earrings and necklace, not too tough to choose, and a bit of makeup. I was almost out the door, but needed to get a second opinion…my husband’s.

I can get ready in less time than most women, but it is maybe why they look so amazing. I need to add to my make up collection, perhaps.

It helps to have some experience dressing for the occasions.

When we planned our trip to Europe several years ago, I had the most difficult time deciding on the clothing we should bring. What would the weather be like? How do they dress in Italy? Where will we be going on the tour?

When I wore heels for a dinner we would attend in Tuscany I thought these were a good choice. Not so when we got off the bus and had to walk up a cobblestone driveway to the patio. I was so uncomfortable and felt like such an idiot. I should have asked our tour guide.

We are not socialites. We like chats with our neighbors, family parties or gatherings, or lunch at the VFW. We are the type of people that prefer blue jeans or anything casual. This would be just one small step up for me, attending and informal family gathering. Still, I wanted to dress more intentionally today.

When we finally arrived and started walking up the driveway, we were greeted by the graduate and other family members. It was a good day, a nice party and I was happy to see familial faces. It did not matter that no one mentioned my pretty top, but one person, my niece liked my new hair color.

I have a very analytical mind and it is why I could find time to talk about this minor incident in my life. On the drive home I review all the interactions I had and wondered if I should have said more to one person or the other. I wonder why I wasn’t listening and get so easily distracted and asked a question that had just been answered two sentences ago.

I’m my worst critic.

I critique my every move. It is really a sick place to be in your head so I am studying to find out why I do that so much. I think it may have a lot to do with confidence. I need to build up more confidence and realize I am only human and others too, can get distracted, say the wrong thing, put two pieces of jewelry or clothing together that isn’t the best choices.

This is all small stuff. It is just such a chore for me and effort to dress for an event or gathering. I think I crave acceptance, approval and praise. Maybe it all boils down to that. It must have been missing in my childhood. Our home was surrounded by much criticism and competitiveness. Could that be it? I’m not sure.

I think I will just try to resist the urge to critique my own self. It helps when I just say, “It’s not about me.” Maybe I care too much about what others think of me. Is that being selfish? I don’t think I am selfish. I am very generous with my time and things I have. I just don’t like to dress up for anything. I am comfortable in my jeans and t-shirt, digging in my gardens.

Do you think my dislike of shopping for clothing or choosing my own outfits has more to do with my lack in confidence or the desire for approval from others?

If you have a phobia about shopping for clothing or dressing for an event or outing this video may give you some perspective but will at least entertain you. It is hilarious! https://youtu.be/LL_JCVWWaeA

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